my celebrity crushes always start with “who the hell is this” and always turn into “that’s his right nostril I can tell”
wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours
i was havin a great time until i remembered that i was ugly
"can i ask you something?"
"you just did"
crushes are great until you realize that they’ll never be interested in you
*looks at clock