lordofthejohnlock:

my celebrity crushes always start with “who the hell is this” and always turn into “that’s his right nostril I can tell”

buttlid:

wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours

i was havin a great time until i remembered that i was ugly

shavingryansprivates:

"can i ask you something?"

"you just did"

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tatehorror:

compliments from the babe <3

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fatwink:

crushes are great until you realize that they’ll never be interested in you 

djtrimal:

*watches Netflix

*looks at clock

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*watches Netflix